Zombieland – A new entry into the realm of RomZomCom, starring a bunch of people

As a video-game child, I am firmly of the opinion that zombies are rather like ketchup. They improve almost anything. I have never particularly felt like reading Pride and Prejudice, and yet I am seriously considering reading ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’. The idea that global warming is due to wipe out humanity entirely without recourse to the living dead makes me ever so slightly sad. Sure apocalypse is fun, but it’s not really zombie apocalypse is it? When Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright of ‘Spaced‘ fame came out with ‘Shaun of the Dead’, the first ever ‘RomZomCom’, I was a happy happy man. So when I came to watch ‘Zombieland’, it would be fair to say that I was excited.

And justly so. Ruben Fleischer has pulled off a masterpiece. For whilst the fun of ‘Shaun of the Dead’ was that it transplanted the zombie film into suburban Britain, America has always been and will always be the true home of the flesh eating infected corpse. Why? Oh so easy. Guns! Huge open roads! Theme parks! Crazy people! More guns! Only in America can you have an ordinary Joe pull a handbrake turn in a hummer and drive by a stack of zombies with an uzi. The beauty of this film is that it combines this sort of fantastic brute violence with a mean sense of humour and a perfectly chosen cast. And also with a cameo from Bill Murray, who too improves everything.

The lead role is taken by Jesse Eisenberg who thankfully plays exactly the same role as he has in every other movie he’s ever made. In that sense, you might say this film is like ‘Adventureland’, except better, with less mopey coming of age and more zombies. Jesse, who is only ever known as ‘Columbus, Ohio’, survives the initial outbreak by not leaving his apartment and instead sitting around playing World of Warcraft. I can empathise with this kid. Like him, I too don’t leave the house. He is exposed when he gives shelter to a beautiful girl who later wakes up and tries to eat him. I do have one problem with this part of the script. A kid like Columbus, living in solitary squalor, would surely be prepared for the zombie apocalypse… Small fry though.

The film only improves with the introduction of ‘Tallahassee’, a crazed killer fixated with finding twinkies, and with ‘Wichita’ and ‘Little Rock’, a scam artist sister act, the former of which ends up as the love interest. After a couple of hiccups, this bizarre group of people fight their way across California towards a theme park outside of LA, on their way smashing up a Native American craft store, meeting Bill Murray and much else besides. They survive by the application of certain rules, things like ‘enjoy the little things’, and ‘always double tap’. ‘Tallahassee’, who begins as a sort of crazy mercenary develops emotional depth. Wichita opens up and learns to trust. It’s all very lovely, predictable, heart warming stuff, filled with good jokes (The zombies on Hollywood Boulevard are actually zombies! Yay!) and entertaining violence, as well as a mostly but not wholly predictable ending.

The great thing about this movie is that it’s not just ‘Shaun of the Dead’ made American. Rather, it’s a wonderful perversion of the traditional American coming of age movie, starring one of that genres most obvious stars. There’s indie music, lots of irony, a nerdy lead male role and a strong, forthright female one, and a happy conclusion. All very nice. But by putting it into the context of the zombie apocalypse, this film eclipses it’s peers like ‘Superbad’ or ‘Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist’ and makes the cliches less jarring and the action more amusing. It’s like the difference between a 99 flake and a 99 double flake covered in smarties, jelly beans and chocolate sauce. Neither is haute cuisine. Both are pretty good. The latter however – the zombified, diabetic killing version – that’s just intrinsically awesome. Mad props to Fleischer and he deserves every penny of the $93m this film made…

http://www.zombieland.com/

How To Be – A Film by Oliver Irving starring Robert Pattinson

So it’s a film about a converse and skinny jeans wearing kid who has a problem with depression. All very lower-upper-middle class, British. All very Mumblecore. The film starts with our hero, Art (Robert Pattinson), recounting a story about how his father made him burn his toys to make some never explained point about life. He’s telling this to his disinterested girlfriend to stop her dumping him. Brutal huh? That might as well sum up the film. It’s kind of distressing to watch, but there’s some sort of point to it; I just wish I knew what it was.

Poor public school educated Art, who spends his life drifting around London, working in a supermarket and volunteering, spending his uncles inheritance, has been screwed by life. He’s a wimp. His music is bad. His friends are mere props – one is the sort of mild mannered kid, living in an apartment paid for by his dad, apparently refusing to face life. The other is a womanising Sid Vicious wannabe who is about as convincing as a reproduction of the Mona Lisa done in marzipan. Arthur is a hopelessly naive character. He spends all his money bringing over a Canadian psychiatrist who follows him around to deal with his chronic self obsession. The only comic moments of the whole film – one endlessly repeated joke – is Dr Ellington popping up in bizarre places to add insight to his observance, whether it be in Arts parents bedroom or in the lavatories of his girlfriends primary school. It’s really not all that funny. Of course, all this being followed around only makes Art’s life worse. How terrible.

Inevitably of course, there is eventually a sort of redemption. Self help and psychiatry are worthless. It’s running away from problems that is the solution. Art gets a very depressing looking flat and the dear doctor ends up working on his parents, through alcohol and self revelation, rather than through cliches. His parents realise how awful they are. His dad realises he loves him. His music remains terrible, but for some reason he finds happiness in it. Kind of. The world looks like a better place, even though it isn’t.

All in all, a terribly boring waste of ninety minutes. This film, like it’s principal character, suffers from a complete lack of ambition and an unwillingness to try to be something better. It shows a boy finding happiness, but in such an unsatisfactory way. You want to scream out ‘Your life is still pointless!’. It’s a success story, but without any tangible success. It’s like a film about a guy who can’t be bothered to get out of bed. And in the end he gets out bed. Fantastic. Is that all we really want from life?

The thing about this film is that it doesn’t try particularly hard, or to achieve particularly much, but it does so splendidly. It’s well filmed, well cut, reasonably well acted. It just happens to be as pointless as a paper mâché crash helmet.

http://www.howtobemovie.com/